are you ok to ask?

Righto so it’s been aeons since I have written, and given that I don’t get anything other than personal satisfaction and a small dose of therapy from my ramblings, I don’t feel anything other than relief. I logged on about 4 months ago but what I had to say was probably the rantings of an over worked mind so I made a few draft posts and then logged off. They will never be posted.

Today, though, I was asked a question and it prompted me to share my thoughts….

“How are you? You going okay?”

So while the question may have come with good intent and the person asking may care for my wellbeing, the previous parts of the exchange, the person’s body language and their general vibe, gave me the feeling that even if I did want to let them know the inner workings of my mind – they were not up for it. It’s a busy place, Earth. And we have all become so wrapped up in our own bubble of busy that we have forgotten the art of listening. Most of us listen to the words in order to respond. But there are more than words when you really listen. There are eyes – that give away words the mouth won’t speak. There is the response that is dismissive – now if you know it is a deflection and you genuinely give a fuck, ask again. Are you ok? And here’s a tip for anyone that wants one….if you ask someone the question and they are brave enough to give you an answer at least do them the courtesy of listening without rebuttal or one-upmanship. If I am brave enough to tell you that I am super busy and feeling a bit overwhelmed and your response is “well, everyone is busy”, you can pretty much guarantee that every time you ask me the R U O K? I will just say “yeah, all good” even if I am drowning.

So do your community a solid….care enough to ask and be prepared for the tough answer. If you can’t be there for that then don’t ask at all. Yeah we are all busy – at work, at home, sport, chores, kids, family blah blah….its called life and it is a blessing. Lets try to get through it together.

I would like to say – rant over – but it will continue in my head until I rationalise the behaviour of others and realise it is not a reflection of me. Thanks for listening.

And thanks to barrybadger.com for the free therapy.

 

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