say yes to sweat…

so apparently sweat is bad….so bad that you can now get a panty liner so you avoid those “embarrassing” sweat patches  down there.  that means there are now pads for menstruation – with different flow rates, with or without wings – pads for that “in-between time”, pads for light bladder leakage – or lbl – , maternity pads, night-time pads, undies with in-built pads and now sweaty vagina pads. I can understand almost all of the many pads on offer but I draw the line at sweaty vagina pads. how sweaty does it get that you need a pad? and I am guessing that if you can see the sweat then the pants must be quite fitted and therefore you run the risk of people no longer staring at your sweaty vagine as they can’t get past the pad you’re wearing. last time I checked sweat is the body’s way of ridding itself of toxins and to trap that in your pants for any length of time could be dodgy at best. I don’t mind a bit of sweat…in actual fact, while exercising, I welcome it as a way to know that I am working hard enough to hopefully turn my two arses into one. most of my gym gear is black – well the pants at least so I am not particularly worried about sweaty vagina patches. in fact I am not really all that worried about much while exercising, least of all is how I look. back in the eighties when it was all shiny tights, G-string leotards and white reebok high tops it was more about the look, less about the input. now it is all about comfort and function – for me anyway. I think these new pads – and yes I know they are referred to as liners but I come from a generation that didn’t have all the choices that are available now, we had the same pads regardless of flow, those same pads did the job at night as well and we dealt with “the in-between time” pad free – so these new pads are just making money for the manufacturer and making exercising women feel that their sweat is bad or embarrassing. embrace the sweat, I say. be proud of your effort and let your sweat show – here are a few tips though if you are genuinely concerned about your sweat patches….never wear grey and always carry a towel.

life on credit…

recently my cousin and her daughter visited us and they bought with them a swag of the latest magazines. they came armed with heaps of other stuff as well but for the purpose of this post I wont go on about krispy kreme donuts….it’s just fried dough, get over it. anyhoo so I used to be an avid collector of magazines…I really enjoy some of the articles but mostly just like to look at the pictures. fast forward to the brave new world I live in and the magazines I look forward to come pre-loved. so one of the magazines my cousin left behind has the following claim on the cover “50 great buys under $250″…what a bargain, sign me up, where can I get all 50? seriously, is under $250 the new bargain? I am clearly well out of the loop on what is hip and happening in fashion due, in part, to me currently sporting a size 16 arse, not the 10 required by the fashion forward and the fact that my current budget extends to the two for $30 offered by Jeans West. one of the magazines that I really enjoy reading and looking at is Marie Claire but who buys the fashion? a pair of shoes for $3ooo, a bag for $1200 and a dress for POA…sounds more like a deposit on a house to me. the people who buy this stuff must surely be very wealthy or live on credit cards cause for the average joe who might fancy a pair of neon blue snake-skin heels by Gucci or Prada – I can’t remember – the price tag is way out of reach. it has made me wonder if they are missing their mark in selling the magazine to people like me – well not actually me, I get the pre-loved ones remember – who, even if I did win big and skinny down, wouldn’t buy half the clothes featured in these glossy pages. years ago I was at a convention in Hawaii and while waiting for my room to be ready went for a wander through the mall that was part of the hotel. there was a Louis Vuitton shop and in the window was a bag that had $1200 in small gold writing on the tag next to it….the “bag” itself was probably big enough for two tampons and a lipstick and the exchange rate was 73 cents…then a couple of years ago my besty from Sydney came over for my big four ohhhh and we went for a wander through the designer stores of Perth’s King Street….well the ones we could get into without an appointment anyway. In Prada there was a pair of black men’s rubber thongs with PRADA in white on the sole…$499. seriously…who buys that? and if you do, or you know someone who does, please let me know how freaking awesome they are. cause for that much money they would want to be some crazy amazing comfy thongs. I will continue to invest $20 on havianas at the beginning of summer knowing that by the end of april they will be ready for the bin.

a note for my American friends – the thongs I refer to are not the underwear, up your bum, ones they are the rubber soled on your feet ones. thongs, jandals, flip-flops, pluggers – or if your upmarket – double pluggers.

happy Friday

clip on koala…

it’s been that long since I have logged in to that it will not come as any surprise if even the most faithful followers have switched off – clearly I did.  yep, it’s fair to say that I lost my mojo. I took my daily list off the fridge and in doing so fell into a big rut. where the hell have I been? my normally healthy diet has gone out the window…turns out it’s cheaper to eat rubbish food than it is to buy fresh, I haven’t done any exercise in….I don’t know how long and I am starting to feel like a couple of days at work would be a blessing right now. so what’s changed? why have I turned into this pitiful picture of self loathing? who knows. what I do know is that it’s pretty damn hard to get some mojo while carrying around a 13 kilo clip on koala. the authors of the wonder weeks say that as a baby or toddler prepare to make a new leap in development they experience the three c’s cranky, crying and clingy….they got it right, cause we’ve got it going on here in spades. it happens every time there is a new leap to experience but this time the clingy part is off the charts and I have the wounds on my flesh to prove it. I get excited every day awaiting the arrival of Mr B so that little boss can remove herself from me even for a brief trip to the toilet – on my own – however despite squealing with excitement at the sound of the garage door she refuses to let go of me and is just happy to enjoy her father’s company from the comfort of my chest. don’t get me wrong…I love it that she wants to be with me…it’s nice to be wanted and loved…I would just like her to share the love a little bit.

since my last post we have celebrated little boss’ first birthday, she is walking all the time and trying to bust into a run, she has five fangs and has become extremely cheeky and loves doing all the things she knows she is not allowed to do…laying on MrRoobens bed, trying to crawl out of the dog door and playing with the blinds are three of her favourites….oh and unplugging her night-light. we are taking a different approach now and ignoring her – with the exception of the night-light – in the hope that these things will eventually become boring due to the lack of reaction they garner…fingers crossed the blinds survive. she is having a crack at feeding herself with a spoon and I need to remember to buy a shower curtain for the floor. when I look back over the past year I am amazed at all the mad skills she has acquired and it comes as no surprise to me that during times of great uncertainty she wants nothing more than to cling to me – I get it – she is at a stage when she is exploring her independence and also fearful of what that brings. so I spend my days picking up toys, DVD’s, books, Tupperware and utensils as I follow her destruction from room to room and when she needs my support I am there. we have so much to look forward to on a daily basis – however tomorrow’s priority is to get the list back on the fridge to keep me honest and to fire up barrybadger every day to get out of my head for a bit…two small steps towards getting my mojo back.

thanks for sticking around.