things that go honk in the night…

in my youth I watched far too many films from the horror and thriller genres and it seems the memories of these are coming back to haunt me. a few weeks ago we put little boss into her own room….yes, I know, it only took us the duration of the pregnancy and nine months of her life to paint four walls and move some furniture around, anyhoo now that she is in her room which is at the opposite end of the house to ours I sleep with the baby monitor on my bedside table. not sure how long this will continue as the monitor lights up our bedroom like Blackpool Illuminations and I can’t see the point of feeding her organic food only to have her sleeping under the toxic gaze of an infrared camera all night….seems to be taking me longer than normal to get to the point here. so not last night but the night before, as we all slept soundly the forces of battery operated play equipment worked against us. at approximately 1am I was woken from my much longed for slumber by the “honk honk” of the horn on little boss’ walker…I lay in bed for a few minutes thinking I was having a weird dream about her toys when “honk honk” rang through the house again, this time waking little boss. now the logical part of my brain said it’s just a toy that is controlled by batteries and operates via a couple of micro switches – one of which is obviously faulty…so I wandered down to little boss’ room to pat her back to sleep and as I returned to our room, passing the walker, I felt a sudden chill in the air and that’s when the memories came flooding back. clowns coming to life and scary looking dollies, psycho, the postman always rings twice, freddy kruger, texas chainsaw massacre – the original one, the shining, christine, carrie, cujo…seriously anything stephen king is involved in they are all still hanging out in my grey matter just waiting to freak me out when something goes honk in the night. that was basically the end of my sleep for that night. little boss woke every half hour and by 2.45am I had done enough passes of the offending walker so got her out of bed to sit with me on our $60 couch in the hope that we could both doze off…one of us did. I sat on the couch listening to what can only be described as a small creature trying to wriggle through an even smaller space. once the wriggling stopped I had the pleasure of watching our very own, ikea supplied, stuart little do a lap of the games room and disappear from view. this new addition to our home is one of the few items purchased from ikea that does not require assembly, unlike the rest of the contents of the box it came in.  oh the excitement of the night…

so last night the honking started before we had even attempted to put little boss to bed so Mr B Badger.com dismantled it and removed the batteries…I let him know that if it went off during the night that I would be on him like white on rice – he laughed that “you’re losing your marbles” laugh but he is too young to remember little carol-ann’s voice coming through the tv static…

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do blondes have more fun….

today I took the plunge and visited the hairdresser….after what seemed like an eternity but was actually 2 1/2 hours I emerged with substantially less hair and what is left is blonde. it’s a dramatic change and caused quite the reaction from little boss who spent a good 15 minutes looking from my face to my hair to my mother and back again….poor love was a little confused and I don’t blame her…it’s definitely a departure from the mousey brown I left the house with. I look forward to more shocked/mixed reactions from others. I haven’t coloured my hair since I shaved it off for the worlds greatest shave in 2011…prior to the big shave I was a serial colour changer. I would basically let the expert do whatever they want and then four hours later I would part with 50% of my weekly income for the privilege. post shave I grew to love my natural colour, which was last seen in 1986, deciding that it would be a good thing for me to give my hair and scalp a rest from the chemical exposure for a while. that was until today when I floated a couple of different options to the hair dresser and walked out with a new commitment to visit the salon every six weeks until I am over the blonde…..

I was hoping that the old blondes have more fun gig would apply immediately but maybe it takes a while to kick in cause my afternoon with little boss was not so great, not much fun going on at the haus of halford this afternoon. I just wish this tooth that is causing her a lot of grief at the moment would hurry up and break through to give her a break and help me to stop being such a miserable biartch. then we can get back the regular challenges of a 9 month old who wants what she wants and lets you know exactly how she feels when her wants aren’t met. this weeks new frustration in kenzi land is the squirty bath toys…up until this week it was a complete riot at bath time for me to squirt her with the toy and then hand it to her to chew on – happy days – now she wants control of the squirty toys and wants to squirt the water in her mouth….mmmmm yummy bath water, I don’t think so. so tonight after our sensational afternoon of fun and games we go through the same thing at bath time only now she is trying to fill up the squirty toys herself and when it doesn’t go to plan….look out neighbours the banshee is loose. times are a changing – again.