who was the genius that decided women needed to boost their general knowledge while suffering through yet another menstrual cycle?? tonight’s gem of wisdom bought to me by libra good nights with wings was rats can swim for one kilometre without drowning and can tread water for up to three days excellent news. I have a suggestion…how about you put the money spent on printing trivia snippets onto adhesive backing paper into finding an effective treatment for women who suffer from debilitating and unexplained period pain – it’s just a thought, and I’m putting it out there.
anyhoo today marked the start of swim school for little boss. for me it was a day when I realised I need to brush up on my children’s song lyrics. I am good with old mac donald and the wheels on the bus and I can even crack out a little green frog when the time comes but the award for mother of the year will not come my way if singalongs are part of the criteria…shame really cause I have been known to carry a tune. as usual I digress, so I wasn’t sure if we would be able to go to this first lesson as little boss has had a cold and I am not a fan of sharing when it comes to germs. I started looking for remedies to try to alleviate her blocked nose which was keeping her up at night and came across a naturopath in Manchester who used her own kids as lab rats for her many wacky remedies. she says to take a three-pronged attack – with onions. yep onions – who knew? so her suggestion is sliced onions in cotton socks ensuring the onion is on the soles of the feet – while you sleep, yeah? not while wearing your nikes – sliced onions in a bowl by the bed at night and a broth made with – you guessed it – onions. anyways so little boss is a bit young for onion broth and I couldn’t see how she could handle onions in socks so I chose a single assault and put sliced onion by her bed. the nights prior to this she had been waking hourly and I had to aspirate her nose and calm her down before it would all start again. night one at the house of onion she slept from 8.30pm until 3.30am and then from 4am to 7am and I felt like a new woman. a smelly onion woman, but one who had just had six straight hours of sleep. I went out the next day and bought more onions….put that on a libra pad – it might not come up at your next quiz night but at least it could be deemed helpful to a woman who, after consuming the recommended daily dose of nurofen plus in one handful, would benefit from a few hours relief from being a human Kleenex.