life with a threenager….

so up until recently I had thought the terrible twos would consume my days and nights for at least another couple of years….that was until one of my mummy friends mentioned the term “threenager” and it all fell into place. this is now my life….dealing with a toddler who behaves just like she is about to hit 13, not 3. when you hear your baby utter the words “I want the i view app” or “there’s no network connection” you are probably dealing with a threenager. I am struggling to find a comparison to what my threenager is experiencing and my own childhood…my mum has always told me that I was “good as gold” until my brother came along only two months after my second birthday when I decided to unleash hell on the household. so we’ve always put my tantrums, fierce independence and demand for attention down to my baby brother. turns out this may not truly have been the case….maybe I was just starting the transition from terrible two to threenager. either way I am missing my mum like crazy right now as she visits my baby brother and his gorgeous family in the US but I am also a little bit glad that she can’t see what’s occurring in my world as this might cause her to rub her hands with glee while watching me go through the same treatment she would have experienced – at my hands – some 40 plus years ago. if knowledge really is power then why do I feel like I am NOT the one holding that power?? we have so many avenues of information available to us that I think we’re just making it harder for ourselves – oh no my threenager’s not listening to me I better hit Dr Google and see if she could have a problem – how about she’s just ignoring me…or the options I am giving her haven’t yet reached her desired choice of beverage….or maybe she’s just that engrossed in the 24 piece jigsaw puzzle challenge I set for her that she can’t handle anything more right now. I know sometimes, after a day that has had more arguments than minutes, Mr B Badger will come home and observe the goings on and will remark “so you just let her do whatever she wants?” and the reality is that sometimes – within reason – yes, I do let her do whatever she wants…because sometimes I get sick of my own voice. so if you put on your tracky daks and one leg is quite noticeably longer than the other it could be due to the threenager swinging off them while singing ring-a-ring-a-rosy while I hung out the washing. or if my parents return from their vay-cay to find their vege patch decimated of all life it could be blamed on the parrots OR it could be the threenagers desire to do the “weeding”. either way these are fights I do not have the will to fight so I chuck another Ristretto pod in the coffee machine and watch while my very willful and independent child weeds and digs and identifies worms and bugs and generally just messes shit up….it’s okay, we have a couple of months before we have to do the work on getting it all back together before the parentals return home….or we could resort to having the threenager take them on a tour when they get back to show Poppy all the great gardening shes done….

in the words of neil diamond….

hello again, hello….

it’s been so long since i have visited that I forgot my password! anyhoo I would like to put my lack of posting down to my super hectic life but really I’ve just been feeling knackered. who knew that this mum stuff could take it out of you like it does hey?? so I returned to the world of paid work for a short stint which was lovely and challenging at the same time, lovely because it was paid and challenging because I had to leave the comfort of my pyjama clad, peppa pig watching world…my feet were not that happy to be back in shoes again and I certainly haven’t missed the daily grind of sitting still in traffic for up to 90 minutes each way. it was nice to catch up with some old colleagues and to meet some new ones and just as I was getting to know them better it was over….I had completed the task they hired me for and they didn’t need me for anything else….so it’s back to singing wiggles tunes and playing dress-ups for me and my – shock horror – almost two-year old. I look at pictures of her when she was a wee baby and I don’t even remember her looking like that. It’s as if I remember the day she was born and then nothing until how she looks now. I actually held a friends baby last week and felt so clumsy like I had never held a baby before and yet it wasn’t that long ago that our baby was just that tiny…but like everyone keeps telling me – make the most of it because before you know it she’ll be at school. well I am doing my best to make the most of it…I am even enjoying the tears and tantrums that come with being told no – this is probably not what they meant but hey I do find it a little amusing that the roller coaster of emotion passes so quick. I think my mother is secretly rubbing her hands with glee that we are entering the notorious “terrible two” stage of development…apparently I threw some spectacular tantrums during this phase of my life, however I remind my parents that if my brother had not spoiled it all for me by coming along and being all chubby and cute then I might have reacted differently. since we only have the one child she gets to throw out as many demands as we allow….and as her mother I allow a whole lot less than say, her grandmothers, who get run ragged by a pint-sized dynamo that would put the energizer bunny to shame. last week my MIL was home so it was her turn to get the treatment and all I heard was “room trishy, bookoo trishy, outside trishy, sit trishy, wiggles trishy, dance trishy and can’t catch me trishy”  pretty sure she slept well that night. today my mum popped in to pick up an esky while my dad revved the car out front…little boss got all excited and told her “room gramma” when my mum told her that she had to go the lip dropped and the tears flowed as she ran to me and put her tearful head on my shoulder. so her heartbroken “gramma” went out and got poppy to come in for a quick play…ahhh that’s better, tears dry up and the world of little boss is well again…it was a win-win for me…I was onto my second wiggles dvd so welcomed the opportunity to turn that off – and hide it – and hoover the floors without worrying if little boss was choking on the power cord…how life has changed!Kenzi on the Fence

this picture was taken on monday during the destruction of a friend of a friends house…you know when you go somewhere and all the things are nice so you worry about having to replace them in the likely event that your dynamo will seek and destroy? well that is this house. fortunately the owners of this ridiculously awesome abode are equally as awesome and wont send me the bill for cleaning the carrots out of the skimmer box of their pool or mind collecting their rock collection a second time….

personality plus….

yesterday I was pushing the trolley – shopping cart for my US pals – around the aisles while little boss tried desperately to grab as much as she could get her grubby little paws on. she managed to get the end of the roll of bags in the fruit and vege section…luckily I have developed cat-like reflexes so I only had to wind up ten or so bags….anyhoo I was busy trying to get over the shock of mangoes for $6.99 each when I noticed little boss doing her best peek-a-boo with someone behind me. when I turned to see who was there the lady in question said “oooo shes cheeky isn’t she?” ooohhhhhh she sure is.  the ultimate indian giver, she will make an offer only to run away just as you thought that piece of mashed bread was yours. we try to get her to return her books once they have been read – sometimes she will happily wander back and swap the old book for a new one, most of the time she will run off shaking her head and laughing….this usually ends with her falling over cause her coconut is a big one and the shaking affects her centre of gravity.  on the weekend we were all outside and little boss was climbing into the garden beds – we don’t really want her in there due to the level of redback spider activity in some of our plants – so Mr B uses his big sausage like pointing finger to, well, make a point and tell little boss “no, don’t go in the garden” this was met with a cheeky grin, a returned pointy finger and Mr B retrieving her from redback alley….bet the “terrible two’s” are going to be fun…