random ramblings….

lack of sleep in the past 24 hours has scrambled my brain so I now have a mish mash of thoughts I want to put on barrybadger but stringing them together into some sort of reader friendly order may be a little tough…

back when I was pregnant and visiting willy wonka on a fortnightly basis his midwife and I were discussing some of my concerns about how I would cope with my change in role, from full-time employee to full-time mother. I had already commenced parental leave and was struggling to cope with the boredom of being at home all day with not much but mr rooben and barrybadger for company. willy wonkas midwife laughed when I told her this and she said – as did most people I told – that would all change soon enough. her actual words were “when women of your age, who have worked for so long, have a baby you will really struggle to understand how something so small can absorb so much of your time and before you realise it will be 2pm and you will still be in your PJs'” not sure what my age has to do with it – pretty sure women much younger than me are still kickin it in their PJs’ much later than 2pm but anyhoo. at the time I didn’t scoff outwardly at her remarks, but inside I was thinking – whatever honey I am going to have a routine and this baby will be working in with me…so fast forward to today. I tried, unsuccessfully, to have a shower from about 10.30am until 1pm. I had hoped to tidy the kitchen, do some washing, fold up the clothes and organise my work desk…what I actually accomplished was a shower. I ate my cereal while expressing a feed and once that was done went back to feeding our girl on demand. so I am glad I didn’t scoff outwardly at any of the people who had told me how my life would be once I returned home with the prize because they were all correct. and, like me, they probably all had the same thoughts before they bought their prize home to…I bloody hope so anyway.

now as gross as this next admission may seem to some people it has to be said, we have magazines in our toilet. not because we can’t afford toilet paper, no. sometimes it takes a while to do your business and having something to look at helps pass the time. anyway at the moment one of these magazines has quite a bit of advertising for cosmetics and I find it amusing that the advertisement is clearly aimed at those of us with “tired” complexions yet the model is an overly airbrushed teenager. this got me thinking about a disclaimer that they should put on the ads that says “actual results may vary” or “if you didn’t look this good prior to using this product, chances are you never will” about 30 years ago body sprays entered the market and one of the ads claimed that if you wore impulse body spray someone would give you flowers….I wrote to this company – yes a real letter – and said I had been wearing impulse – take the shame! – and that I still had not been given any flowers…a couple of weeks later I received a small bunch of fake flowers in the mail, and some free impulse. cute, but costly, and if they had added a disclaimer to the advert they could have given my smart arse teenage ramblings the attention they truly deserved. now don’t judge me for admitting to having magazines in the toilet. if people didn’t want something to read while doing their business there would be no point in dunny door graffiti and the conads company would be out of business – that’s the mob that put the ads on the toilet door to sell you something while you wee.

oh my god I am so excited for the olympics to start…