finally settling in…

so tonight Mr B Badger.com and I were discussing our parenthood journey so far and looking back at the first few weeks after we bought little boss home. the interesting thing is that in this age that we live in information is plentiful. we can turn to google at any time of the day or night and ask whatever question and know that it will give an answer – might not be a good one, but will definitely get a response. but in all this information overload and all the movies/docos/book/websites etc nothing can prepare you for it. I am a highly stressed person with laid back tendencies married to a seemingly unflappable guy with an addiction to planning and organising. so we are an interesting duo. when I think about the day we bought little boss home I laugh – now – but back then my stress levels were off the charts. see in the hospital it’s all pretty cruisy. you feed the baby, change the baby, feed yourself, change yourself and receive visitors – repeat. oh and if you are lucky you get a bit of sleep. the only things that change when you come home are you now have to prepare your own food – good luck and thank you belvita cereal biscuits – and you don’t have the safety net of the midwives to call on….this was the thing that impacted me the most. yes I freaked out about what she was wearing, how to get her in the capsule, was the capsule in the car right, should I sit in the back with her, why is she crying, why isn’t she crying, pull over so I can check that she is still breathing, yes she’s still breathing…sorry I am just stressed – nooooo really? where is the book that says all this stuff?? that says that all these feelings are totally normal and you are doing okay….see my besty popped round on the day we came home and she has three kids of her own so I value her input so I had a mini breakdown on her shoulder and she just said – you are doing a great job, she is perfect, relax. fast forward to seven months later and I finally have…relaxed that is. Mr B Badger.com and I are finally comfortable with this whole parenting thing and actually starting to enjoy it. the stress is still there – to be honest if I wasn’t stressing about something that would make me stress so round and round we go – I still pop in and make sure she is breathing….I find this particularly amusing because I only worry about it while looking at the baby monitor, when I go to bed I don’t actually worry about it – go figure. I still stress about the consistency of her food – is it smooth enough or is it too smooth, will she choke, what if she shoves the rusk all the way down her throat, is she getting enough fluid – and on and on the list goes I am sure you get the picture, and this is relaxed. fortunately for me little boss is the most laid back of us all and she gives me hope that I can get a little bit of calm in my life….

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