only women steal…

so the weather is starting to get a bit cooler in the evenings and early mornings here and we are in need of some warmer clothing to wear around the house…see last year we almost had to take a second mortgage to pay the gas bill so this year we are opting for a much smaller outlay of cash at Big W for track pants and hoodies. off we went on saturday afternoon to pick out some fine new house outfits – what a treat. now I am a huge fan of the self-serve checkout, but given that I don’t know what has a security tag and what doesn’t I just merrily scan away and stuff items into bags. I soon find out, though, that I am carrying items with security devices still intact when I wheel the trolley through the exit and set off every alarm in the place…a bit extreme for a few $30 pairs of pants but hey, I guess they add up. in we wheel again to get the girl manning the self-serve area to remove the tags…my jumper, my track pants…the end. hang on a minute….what about Mr B Badger.com? his stuff is not too bad and I am sure it would be worthy of stealing so why no tag on his stuff? in actual fact he had a pair of track pants in the same brand as mine, as it turns out us girls are more likely to try on and not take off thus creating the need for the security tag on women’s apparel. men, on the other hand, are less likely to try on at all and rarely carry a bag so it stands to reason that we find ourselves the target of a bit of gender discrimination. yeah okay that’s a bit extreme. I have to be honest, if I was going to steal anything it would be food. the cost of living in perth is completely ridiculous and I wonder how some people cope. I went to woollies last week and there was a small punnet with five plums in it and the sign above said plums $4.98 kilo…there were no other plums in store so I picked up a punnet and when I got to self check the machine said to put the item aside until the end when the staff would help me. so at the end the lady comes over and tries to find the item, she asks me if I remember how much they were and I say $4.98 kilo…I must look dodgy cause she ended up calling the fruit and vege guy who said they were $4.98 a punnet…so I say “that’s $1 a plum..” and she says “yeah but they’re organic” and I say “organic or not I am not paying $1 per plum”. ohhh she wasn’t very happy with me because after all her efforts she had to void the item from my transaction. I think she was hoping I would just take them but given that they were for little boss and she may or may not like them I was not prepared to pay that much. a couple of weeks back they were charging $3.98 for a lettuce – not gourmet or fancy just straight out boring old iceberg lettuce. at the spud shed they were charging just 0.99 cents for a head of lettuce…what the?? how can that be right…it’s mostly water anyway. it’s easy to see why people opt for the deals offered by the fast food chains to feed their family when it costs more to buy good food…we cant do the fast food thing anymore since I am still working my way towards only having one arse in my $30 track pants so looks like we will be shopping around for the best grocery deals in town….

the law of attraction…

so the law of attraction is this theory that “like attracts like” and that if you focus on positive thoughts you will bring positivity to your life and likewise if you focus on negative…you get the picture. so a couple of things that have occurred either to me or around me in the last week have caused me to ponder this theory and to think if things had been done differently would the outcome have been the same…so saturday morning I pack kenzi into the car and off to the shops we go. the weather has started to warn up and most of the clothes we have for our little bundle of joy are for much cooler weather, add to this the fact that she more than takes after her father and is extremely hot-blooded so summer is going to be a fun time at our place. anyhoo so off we go to get some outfits that are more suited to her constitution than the actual season. all good we are in and out of target in record time and I join the queue at a coffee shop to get a giant-sized – not american giant-sized I still needed one hand to push the pram – coffee and a muffin to take home. so I order and then stand to the side to wait for my name to be called. while I am waiting a woman approaches the counter with a half full – she would say half empty no doubt – giant size coffee and without waiting for anyone to ask her if they could help she thrust it in front of the barista and said “you need to make that again” nothing else, no please, no reason, no manners, just do it! so the barista asks what the problem is and the woman says “I asked for three-quarter strength and it’s too strong” so the barista topped it up with hot milk. this seemed to make the woman lose her rag a bit so she says…” no, I want you to make it again. I asked for 3/4 strength and it was too strong so my husband put several sweeteners in it to make it palatable and it is disgusting so make it again.” now I have always worked on the theory that you catch more bee’s with honey than you do with vinegar – it’s a real saying from back in the day, look it up – and since this woman, who was now quite red in the face, had so far not even asked for the coffee to be remade let alone said please I was waiting for the backlash from the staff. see “back in the day” the customer was always right even if they were wrong. anyhoo so the barista made her a fresh coffee 3/4 strength and as a parting gesture the woman said “I am a manager in hospitality and the way you handled this was disgraceful” so the manager of the coffee place gave it back and told her that if she had approached them with a less aggressive attitude things may have been different. obviously she didn’t agree and stormed off with her husbands coffee…two things here why did she have to do his bidding? and who in their right mind wants 3/4 strength coffee?? seriously the stronger the better and her man probably needs to grow a pair and stop using “sweetener”. surely though if she had of returned to the counter, asked nicely, explained the situation and said please she would have received a more welcome reception. my coffee was the next one up and the barista apologised to me for the delay to which I replied “that’s okay I was enjoying the show”…

so I have been experimenting with online grocery ordering and delivery and its over. this week I selected the 7am – 10am delivery window and was ready to go at 7am. so at 10.20am when I still had not received my groceries I called the customer service number and after listening to 11 minutes of the woolies jingle in one ear and the screaming of a colicky baby in the other they hung up on me….so I waited until K Doggy had burped like a man a few times and then called back. when I finally got answered it was 10.50am and the girl I spoke to said she would call the driver to see where he was…wherever he was he wasnt answering his phone so she said she would keep trying him and call me back. while I was on this call another one beeped in my ear but I don’t know how to do call waiting so I let it slide through to the keeper. so when I checked my messages it was woolies letting me know that the driver was running 30 minutes late. no he is not. if he were running 30 mins late he would have been knocking on my door at 10.30 and as it had now clock 11.15 I was starting to feel the hostility creep in…anyway so the delivery arrives at 11.25am. I have the door propped open and the dog locked away so all he has to do is pop the bags inside the front door. so he puts the crates down and gets me to sign for the delivery and then we stand and stare at each other for a while until he says “I need the crates” to which I reply “well you better take the groceries out of them then” he probably thought I was incredibly rude but really I had a very low care factor at that point. the first time I had my groceries delivered the delivery woman bought them into the kitchen and popped the bags on the bench for me. that was a once off obviously. anyway it’s over, I am done. I was toying with the idea of trying out the competition but I think I will just head back to my local IGA and battle it out with everyone else on their L Plates for trolley driving.

the mailman has just delivered our mail so testing the theory of the laws of attraction I am going to think positive and say that there will be a cheque in todays mail…

the inconvenience of convenience….

yesterday I took my little farty pants to have her first round of immunisation needles…that’s after I had spent the morning being physically ill at the thought of injecting who knows what into our little doo dah. now I do like a bit of worry and stress in my life, hell who doesn’t right? so I had done quite a bit of research into the pro’s and con’s of immunisation and found it’s quite a touchy subject for a lot of people, both for and against. turns out this parenting gig can get a bit controversial at times and  there are a few more topics that should be otherwise avoided at dinner parties than politics and religion. immunisation is one of these topics. it seems quite strange to me that it would even be a discussion topic since it is almost compulsory to participate in the national immunisation program, not much to talk about really. anyway our little doo dah got a jab in each leg and one vaccine orally – which she liked the taste of –  then we waited just in case she had a reaction. her “reaction” to the source of my stress and worry was to have a feed and go to sleep. so I understand the need for immunisation and having had whooping-cough as an adult I can only imagine how deadly it could be for a baby but I just don’t trust the pharma companies that make the vaccines. anyhoo so she had her jabs and didn’t have any major reaction and has slept through the night for the past two nights so good-o and here’s hoping that goes for a few more days cause I exhausted myself stressing about getting her needles so I need some more sleep!

so to the title of this post…I really dislike shopping. yes I am definitely a woman and I really dislike shopping of any kind. grocery, gift, clothing whatever it is I don’t like it. grocery shopping is my least favourite – it’s the other people shopping slowly, the people who ride around in those motorised carts that are to big for the aisles, the stacks of stuff on special placed at the end of each aisle, the 30 check-outs with only 6 open and the fact that the whole place seems refrigerated. so now that I am home most days I decided to get my groceries delivered and have been doing so for the past three weeks. so week one I told anyone who would listen – and some that wouldn’t – how fantastic this new shopping experience was and how everyone should get on board. why battle it out from carpark to checkout if you can just open your front door and have your stuff delivered right to your kitchen? so week two delivery was all good until I got to saturday and when I got my juice out of the fridge the container felt a bit bloated so I checked the use by date and it was out of date – I got an awesome three days to drink two litres of juice which ended up getting consumed by the drain. oh well not to worry….then this weeks order arrived and it turns out I may have to go back to dodging motorised carts and promo stacks cause stuff I ordered isn’t there and stuff I didn’t want is and if it was a case of substitution I could probably understand but when I ordered rissoles I got schnitzel and instead of croissants, white bread. based on the increase in mistakes with my order I think I will quit while I can still afford to. although just the thought of going back to pushing a wonky wheeled trolley makes me cringe. I have sent them an email just to see what they do – it would be nice if they sent someone round with the croissants and the rissoles and I can hand back the schnitzel and bread but I need to think straight and get serious, it wont happen.

what is it with those motorised carts anyway?? they are huge and can go at a cracking pace and the people who operate them get really angry if you don’t give them a wide berth. I want to know what would happen if you were to just ride into the shopping centre on a quad bike? not that much bigger than nan’s “cart” and other than the speed and the noise what is the difference…yeah not a good argument but I am scarred by the nut job that ran over my foot in woolies and then yelled at me for being in the way of the deodorant…

when I checked the mail today I received the victoria’s secret catalogue….I wish I could order myself a victoria’s secret body to go with the lingerie. I know I know they’re not old ducks like me but even when I was their age I didn’t look anywhere near that fit. so I best hit the home gym cause I think it’s long overdue and while I wont ever end up with a body like miranda kerr I might eventually be able to buy a pair of panties from vicky’s secret that will fit….maybe.