frankie says “Relax…”

frankie goes to hollywood might have said Relax but willy wonka said “relax that leg, put your soles of your feet together now take deep breaths in and out…” how about one sharp quick inhale and then hold? oh am I in for a treat during labour! I knew he would withdraw his hand and tell me I was not ready. myffyn is way to happy in there and while I was sitting in the waiting room did a 180 degree flip to the other side, if her head was far enough down my passage that would have been fairly impossible for her to do so the internal exam was a bit redundant I feel…never the less necessary at 38 weeks – when most people get impatient wonks tells me. wonks also tells me that when they try to induce labour for women in my position over 50% of those end in a caesarean after a long and painful labour…ah no thanks wonks she can hang out in there til its crunch time. he told me that other than her head not being engaged everything else is perfect and I am in good health so that’s all good and I will see you next week…unless you go into labour and if it’s on the 8th, 9th or 10th it wont be me it will be one of the other doctors. that’s no fun, I have had the pleasure of his quirkyness since november last year, I really want the opportunity to repay the favour.

so I had been accumulating receipts from his visits and putting off the inevitable visit to medicare so off I trudged. there was a medicare lady guarding the touchscreen where you get to select your service and just as I walked in she got distracted so I quickly made my selection and got my ticket, B282, she caught me – I didn’t really feel like talking – “what are you here for today, dear?” oh I hate that word, dear, so incredibly patronizing and condescending so I could feel the hairs on my neck stand up and was thankful for the strict gun ownership laws in this country lest I would have a thelma and louise moment…anyhoo so I tell her I am here for a refund, “do we have your bank details on file?” no “well for today ONLY we can refund directly into your account but for future refunds you will have to provide your bank details, fill in this form and return it to us”. I wanted to stand there and question her on what they do with the forms once they have entered your details into the system and why they couldn’t direct credit your card on every visit so people who did not want medicare to have their bank details on file could still have the choice but in all honesty I just couldn’t be bothered. now was not the time to unleash my inner activist on this woman who despite calling me dear was just doing her job – a job she had been told she had to do and she didn’t need me giving her a hard time. there were plenty of old school passbook waving pensioners to do that for me.

this leave gig is shaping up to be pretty exciting hey? up at 5am send husband to work, eat breakfast, write blog, play with dog, go back to bed, clean kitchen, run errands, sleep on couch. what a day. not sure my body can handle much more to be honest. yesterday I could have slept til today and right now I feel the same. people want to catch up with me before I have the myffyn and I feel like a bit of a cop-out telling them I am tired so it’s not possible but would they be anymore understanding if I told them I could catch up between the hours of 11am and 1.30pm? probably not. cause I am home, right? I should be able to catch up whenever suits, right? ahhhh wrong peeps. my 40 something year old body that has, at times, taken a complete pounding, is now doing the toughest job I have ever asked it to do in all these years and it’s not coping all that well. sure if you ask me I will tell you I am fine, just a bit tired, but otherwise fine. when really I wish I had won the powerball so I could have a staff to do everything for me so all I have to do is lay in bed or sit on the couch and hug a cup of tea – preferably Yorkshire, but Tetleys will do – made by someone else because getting up is painful and severely overrated.

on that note I am going for a lie down….Mr Rooben is looking at me with hope in his eyes that I will play with him but he is going to have to wait a couple more hours, poor love it’s a tough gig being a dog in this house….nigh nigh neville.

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