so yesterdays trip to see wonka was non eventful really…well the results from the visit were non eventful the actual time spent there is always providing me with a reason to either throw my head back and laugh or shake it with amazement at the stuff that can come out of a persons mouth, yesterdays visit was no exception. old wonks didn’t let me down. so at 39 weeks myffyn is still not ready to greet the world, maybe she has been listening to the weather channel, but in the words of the pro – “she has plenty of fluid around her, her growth is fine, your blood pressure is very good so no need for us to force anything just yet, we will see how everything looks next week and if nothing has happened by the 21st of july then we will have a discussion about how to proceed….” hang on 21st of JULY??? I said doc didn’t you get much sleep last night? you mean 21st of june yeah? so he tells me that he was called to the hospital at 9pm, midnight and 2am, I said I think I may have gone out in sympathy with him as I had very little sleep as well to which he replied…. “mmmm well I was just happy that the bleeding stopped and the baby started breathing” inside my head it was shaking with amazement and I was wondering if his bedside manner is this descriptive with every almost ready to deliver client he sees. my outside voice could only manage a sarcastic ” mmmmm happy days…” anyways we had a look at myffyn on the ultrasound and this confirmed that she has yet again shifted sides – I think she does this about twice a day at this stage – and we decided that due to her position there was not much point in doing an internal because her head and heart are in the same spot as last week and in wonkas own words “last weeks internal was disastrous” now its throw back my head and laugh time because I found that to be the strangest choice of word…so he explained that it was disastrous because my cervix was nowhere near ready and caused me undue pain and discomfort so we don’t need to go there again. yeah total disaster. so we are back to “see you next week unless something changes” – which it can, and rapidly – and my actual due date that he really wasn’t that keen on me getting to is june 19th which is also my next appointment and then after that he doesn’t really want me to go much more overdue than june 21st.
over the last couple of months I have felt pretty comfortable with the way things have been progressing and have been feeling confident about how the pregnancy was going. the first few months I spent most of my time worrying about everything and not wanting to get my hopes up that we would eventually have a baby of our own – it’s my demon, anxiety, that gets the better of me and under normal non pregnant conditions I would have acupuncture regularly and take chinese herbs to balance myself…unfortunately during pregnancy a lot of acupuncture is not recommended and the chinese herbs are off-limits so I have relied on the calming influence of my husband and some very good breathing exercises I learnt some time ago – yes learning to breathe, and it cost quite a bit to! oh and I swear – a lot, it’s a good stress reliever but makes me sound like I should live in a trailer park, but whatever gets me through….so I have noticed the anxious feelings have started to creep back in from around week 37 my demon has resurfaced and I can actually have acupuncture now but my therapist has gone on holiday, really bad timing for me but sensanal for him. I managed one session before he left and if myffyn is not here by next monday I will be booking a daily visit to him until she does come…I will potentially look like eddie murphy in the nutty professor with hundreds of needles sticking out of me desperately trying to get some relief. I was chatting with my besty yesterday and we were talking about my fast descent into feeling depressed about not having delivered yet – we have been pals since 1988 so we know a thing or two about each other so we discussed that as of yesterday I am now in single figures and have 9 days to go. if it happens before that then all good but otherwise I should just tick off the days starting at 9, hence the title of todays post – eight more days. see if myffyn hasn’t headed out by the 19th then come the 21st I will either be induced or delivering via c section either way I hung up the phone and felt better about looking at it from that angle and if she does arrive before then it’s a bonus. I will laugh if she decides to come today cause its state of origin game two and if I go into labour I will be without husband until the game is over! actually I want to watch it so here’s hoping if it does happen they get gem at the hospital…
now I don’t often re read my posts on here but today I think its necessary to add a disclaimer to the post considering I have outed myself and my issues with anxiety, particularly for those followers and readers that are part of my family and are usually the last to know the most intimate details of your life. this is not a cry for help, nor am I mentioning it in this blog to get my phone ringing off the hook with people asking me if I am feeling ok or looking at me in a weird way just waiting for me to wig out or have a bout of tourette’s. this blog is about my 12 month journey of parental leave and everything that entails, the good, the bad and sometimes ugly face of me and how I deal with the challenges and changes ahead.
so I am going to crank up the dyson and get busy trying to get this way too comfortable myffyn to get a move on…at least at this rate there is a chance that her nursery furniture might arrive before she does….