hilarity and halitosis….

how is it that people with stink breath don’t smell it? or, if they have friends, dont at least know about it. the same goes for body odour…how do you not smell your pits and know that you stink? i know, another high brow topic from me but seriously last night my besty and I went to see Judith Lucy and it was a great show – as expected – mind you I could listen to her read a chinese menu and find it hilarious, it’s just her tone. anyhoo a trio of nerds arrived and sat next to my besty – well one of them almost sat on her – they were all wearing clothing that gave the impression that it was snowing outside so of course that had to be removed and there is no real efficient way to remove an overly padded too small for you jacket while sitting in a seat designed for someone with a smaller arse so nerd number one got a bit closer to my besty than she would have liked…that wasnt when she picked it up though…it started as soon as Judith Lucy cracked the stage with dancing that would put Ellen to shame…and nerd number one laughed. and not just a giggle, he had a big breathy ha ha ha ha laugh. I got it to but I wasn’t quite sure what it was or where it came from – I havent been out for a while. after about ten minutes of laughter and fun times I looked over at my besty and she was covering her nose with her scarf. I asked her if she was ok and her one word, one point response was “halitosis”. it was so bad. surely this dudes mates could smell it and if they were real mates they would say something or at the very least offer him some gum. I know that if I stank I would want to be told – hey sista you pong – or something similar. I think I am a little obsessed with the bodies excretions. so far barrybadger has covered off poo, wee, breast milk, farts, bad breath and body odour. I think this started when I was a lot younger and my brother and I were still living at home – so a long time ago – and we would share our bodies odours in only the way kids can…we would “cupcake” each other with farts…if you don’t know what a cupcake is you will have to ask around cause writing on this post is going to make it even more low brow that it already is. we would also “bed breath” each other. this I will explain…first thing in the morning your breath offers its most pungent aroma so whoever was awake first out of my brother and I would run into the other persons room, jump on the bed and exhale with some force over the nose of the sleeping person. what a way to start the day – hey? the very sad part about cupcaking and bed breathing is that we weren’t all that young and we still find it funny. even more hilarious is when we find it funny and other people find it disgusting – that makes it even more funny, but maybe that just me – probably – but my dad still does the “pull my finger” prior to letting one rip so maybe its genetic…I know it’s not dinner party conversation and there are potentially more interesting/important/sophisticated topics I could introduce to barrybadger but since it’s my blog and I get to control the content, today it’s about stinky breath. tomorrow it might be about asylum seekers or federal versus state contributions to the NDIS but I doubt it. it’s the every day that I find amusing and will continue to write about. the one thing I may cover on asylum seekers is the impact it must be having on the very idyllic Christmas Island, but that can wait for another day….

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