the other “f” word…

I can understand why women give up on breastfeeding and switch to formula – there I said it, the other “f” word. breastfeeding is not easy and doesn’t come naturally. little myffyn is nine weeks old this friday and I have only just got the hang of it. to be perfectly honest I am a little disappointed…during my pregnancy I had fantasized about getting massive porno tits once my milk came in and the truth is I have the same small boobs I have always had. my dad reminds me that at least when I am in my 60’s they will still be on my chest and not tucked into my pants. so my efforts with feeding havent been all that fab and at times it has been very tempting to switch to formula especially on the days when she wants to feed hourly or more and I have felt tied to the house – I haven’t mastered the art enough to take it public. the reason I havent made the switch is the wind the small amounts of formula I have given her create. seriously farts are funny, but huge man farts coming out of a 4.5kg lightweight are kind of funny the first couple of times but when one bottle of formula causes wind that lasts for a whole day I can only imagine the turmoil going on inside her. so we continue to persist with the breastfeeding and it wont be that long before she is introduced to solids…formula is definitely a word you don’t want to utter in front of the health nurse or the midwives. I get the feeling they would use the disapproving tone while grilling you about your reasons for not breastfeeding…I mean yesss breast is best but the determination required to persevere with breastfeeding when you also have to contend with sleep deprivation and getting used to a baby can be a bit difficult to maintain. and I get that it’s not actually about me and how I feel it’s about giving her the best possible start in life but as my besty said to me – happy mum, happy baby…the nurses, doctors and midwives can all be a judgemental as they like while they are living their life and not mine so if I do chose to stop breastfeeding in the near future it’s a choice I will make for myself and myffyn not them.

so yesterday I went on a rant about my online grocery shopping and how they messed up my order. I am happy to report that they responded to my email and will be refunding the items I should have received. they did offer to deliver them but I didn’t think it was worth getting the truck out for a packet of croissants and some chicken rissoles…so I will see how they go next week – or I might just go back to doing it myself…