where’s your head at….

I wouldn’t consider myself  to be too “new age” or “alternative” or whatever the politically correct terminology is now but I do adopt certain aspects in my life and one of them is visualisation. seeing myself in a situation and playing it out in my head helps me to get through what would otherwise be daunting tasks. public speaking is something people generally have a fear of and yet I love it, as long as I have a few moments to visualise myself in the setting I can’t wait to get up there. so for the past nine or so months I have been visualising myself in the various stages of pregnancy and this has helped me cope with the many changes my body has gone through – only thing I failed to put into my vision was the miss piggy like trotters I walked on from about week 24 but hey I wasn’t trying to be too realistic! part of my most recent meditations has been on the arrival of our myffyn and how that might play out and in my head I had two scenarios – one I went into labour at home in the middle of the night and, once my contractions got to a certain point, my still half asleep husband drove me to the hospital where after a reasonable period of time myffyn appeared with a bit of push and shove and we all cried with joy and exhaustion….scenario two was that I went for my willy wonka appointment yesterday and upon feeling my cervix pronounced me ready to be induced and then we all head to the hospital the following day for the pending arrival. neither of my visions have prepared me for what is actually happening this friday when at 6.30am scotty and I roll up to the hospital for our baby to be delivered via caesarean section. back to the visualisation drawing board for me…I know if I don’t sit down and focus on how it will play out on friday, in my head now, I will be laying on the table in theatre looking like a stunned mullet as they hand me our myffyn. so I have today and tomorrow to get my head in the right space – something myffyn doesn’t want to do – and see myself giving birth in a whole new way. I will also have to put scotty into my vision wearing his hospital scrubs which will provide the fun factor for the day. I think that regardless of how much I aim to prepare myself it will still be a surreal experience shared with my husband and eight others…yes eight people on hand to ensure the safe delivery of one baby. scott said “I hope it’s a big room” willy wonka said “we wheel you in, sit you up, give you an epidural, you will feel warm and tingly then numb from the nipples down – we will check this with ice on your nipples – the nurse will insert a catheter and empty your bladder, I make a cut about yay big and move your bladder out of the way, then you will feel a bit of pushing and pulling and then the baby comes out and we hold the baby up for a picture, the paediatrician checks the baby is breathing ok then we wrap up the baby and give him/her to you for cuddles and more photos while I remove the placenta and stitch you back up. all up the actual delivery part can be done in two minutes” scotty will be lucky to have the camera out of the bag let alone focussed in that time! so it is actually happening, this friday we will actually get to finally meet our myffyn for the first time and even as I type this it still doesn’t feel real. sure I have a big pregnant belly and it moves in mysterious ways that provide endless entertainment for me, I still get up at least five times during the night to empty my bladder and I can no longer bend to pick things up but it still feels normal to me and like I still have quite a way to go. I dont…I have two days. in the words of the late steve irwin…CRIKEY. I think I liked it better when I didn’t know how it would play out because now that we have a plan and we know how and when I am proper nervous….